Short Friction

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Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category

Gordon’s Diary – II

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I’ve done a decent bit of research now on the key principles behind getting a religious following. These are:

  • Appeal to people who have some existing core beliefs (i.e. already Christian or New-Age, don’t go for the atheists obviously)
  • Identify some common themes where the doctrines of people’s churches don’t entirely match up with their personal views – things like sexuality, race, parenting and wealth creation are some examples.
  • Develop a set of “new truths” that keep the core of these people’s existing beliefs in-tact but modifies the bits they were uncomfortable with so that they can think, “I was right all along!”
  • Develop new prophetic interpretations that allow people to have a sense of certainty about their future while at the same time threatening fear and horrors in their lifetime if they don’t continue in what I teach them. Guarantee easy life, protection and great rewards provided they do continue in what I teach them.
  • Use scripture judiciously to “prove” my “new truths” and prophecies.
  • Don’t set dates or make claims that can be disproven by any actual event (or failure of an event) like Ronald Weinland’s fatal mistake
  • Invest in some well-targeted publicity that reaches the people I’m after. A Google Ads campaign is probably the simplest approach here.

These are all pretty good guarantees of a following. Of course, I’ll be doing this for money as well as the enjoyable sense of having power over people’s minds. So I will need to develop some doctrine that requires people to give me money. Ideally this should tie very tightly into the fear-factor of my prophecies yet at the same time into the guarantees of riches and easy living. I already have a great idea for this one – I’ll use the parable of the talents to prove that God wants his True Church to develop an investment scheme into which they place most of the money that God has given them. If I structure this right my following should have at least the impression they are reaping huge immediate financial rewards for giving money to me. I’ll put together some sort of investment company that all the members can invest in, from which I of course take a good sized cut. I figure I could maybe learn from some of the techniques used by Storm Financial.

Written by shortfriction

20/11/2009 at 08:04

Gordon’s diary – I

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Up early today, couldn’t sleep. Got up and watched this “Benny Hinn” guy on Channel 10. Surprised they let such obvious scammers on tv. He said if I sent $10,000 he would put my name in his private jet and pray for me when he’s flying. Well, better odds than lotto I suppose.

Was thinking maybe I should look into this line of work. Been needing something since the parking ticket gig fell apart.

Did some googling. Decided I’d do better to set myself up as end-time prophet than faith-healer, given the current social climate of end-of-the-world-to-global-warming panic. I thought this Ronald Weinland fellow was on the right track. He’s been predicting for some years now nuclear attacks on the US by next month and the end of the world in 2011 (he’s even published some books!). His timeline ends too soon. Tough for him: his income’s about to dry up. I’ll learn from that mistake: never set dates.

Benny Hinn operates by being huge. Do a gig of 50,000 and if just 1% of people are convinced to give $1,000, you have a taking of half-a-million. Weinland operates small. Even so, if he can convince just 500 people the end is coming and to sell up their assets and give him the money plus 10% of their ongoing income, he should have a cashflow well over a million annually. I could live with that.

I’ll follow his progress for a while to see what works, then see if I can set myself up with a similar gig.

More on Ronald Weinland: Ronald Weinland biography

Written by shortfriction

08/07/2009 at 16:23